Watching the people who surround me and analyzing my own behavior just a couple years ago. I have come to the conclusion that we try to increase the number of our social contacts in every possible way. Sometimes we do it consciously, sometimes not, but the fact is that most people are afraid of loneliness and try to avoid being on their own in any way.
And now think: how many people of those you are communicating with on a regular basis can you really call your friends? I bet you have never even thought about it, and once you do, you will only be able to name a few people.
If you are trying to be more social and get popular, it still does not guarantee that your range of good friends is about to widen. You may drink a beer or two with your colleague after work or hang out with that guy you met last week in a night club, or have an intellectual talk with that online buddy who shares your interests once you finally meet in real life, but don’t you think this is only occasional communication? Most people around you will view you just as a good interlocutor, a friendly and easy-going person who they will first consider when asking for help an advice, and for some of them you will be just a Friday drinking mate, and this is inevitable. You will only have a couple of close friends who will be there for you no matter what happens, who feel responsible for keeping your relationship up and will love and appreciate you just fir who you are.
So what am I getting at? I sure don’t mean that you should limit yourself in communication, on the contrary, you get a lot of new useful experience and knowledge if you get acquainted with different people, share your points of view, have friendly discussions or just rejoice together, the key point is that you shouldn’t take such relations too seriously. When we try to make a good impression so that the others love us and try to get more popular, we often forget who we actually are and act in a way that is not natural for us. I am only trying to say that no matter who you are talking to, you should always be yourself. Be sincere and speak from the heart, and it does not actually matter what people think about you – your true friends will love you the way you are.
And another point I want to highlight is that hanging around with your new mates or trying to make friends with your colleagues after work, don’t forget about your close and most faithful friends. When did you see them for the last time? I won’t be surprised if you will say something like “a couple weeks, or maybe a month ago”… sadly, it is so in my case. Once we have grown up, I hardly ever see my best school friend – work, studies, language courses, Friday parties, whatever… but once we meet, we always feel truly happy, have a great time and fool all around. So why not to make such events happen a least a little more often? So log off the net, call your friend and arrange a meeting, hope you have a good time tonight!