When you are going to divorce it’s sad. First of all, because you need to end one part of your life for sake of the new one. On the other hand when you need to tell your kid his mom and dad are going to leave each other it’s a double torture. The atmosphere and the state of your child in such a situation are the most important issues to observe.
So, first of all, both parents should stay calm themselves, because children actually feel everything-. Any change in the standard pattern of your behavior.
Then, the info you give to a kid should not be like an avalanche. Try to doze it. Step by step. But nevertheless, try not to tell the lies and at the same time don’t let a child build up the missing part of your information due to his imagination.
Very often a kid falls into the false guilt complex thinking that the divorce is the result of his bad behavior. You should be very careful to explain him in simpler words that the relations between parents have changed due to external reasons, not because of him being naughty.
It more often happens so, that after a divorce the kid stays with his mother. Here the main task of every woman is not to ruin everything.
First of all, don’t you ever cry on your kid’s shoulder and make a weep-assistant out of him. This will return the child to a guilt complex and you will have to spend much effort on persuading him he is not the reason for a divorce.
Next thing, forbidden for a divorced mother is spoiling a child. Don’t try to substitute his father by numerous presents and make a kid think that you “buy” his good attitude towards you. Children see everything clear and they can analyze the reason for your generosity. This can end up in a lifelong rule of the possibility to buy any person’s good attitude.
And the last thing for divorced mothers. Some women really blame the child for the situation. They think that the guilt of a kid is in his sincere love to his father and the desire to see, to communicate with the parent. Don’t be against the communication of a kid and his other parent. I think it’s clear in what way this can make the situation worse.
In any case, you have the ability to comfort your child in case you are going to divorce with your couple. You just need to be sincere and all the time remember, that a child is a bit more sensitive and deserves a bit more sympathy than any grown up. Don’t leave him confused and let him feel you are near, no matter what is going on.