Praise or Reproof?

It is a stated fact that all children perform bad (from our adult point of view) deeds from time to time. They fight, cry, tell lies, refuse to eat porridge and so on. Parents in this case face the dilemma – whether to scold their children or just mildly tell them not to behave badly. There is no universal recipe for such situations but you can follow some simple rules if you do not want to hurt your kid’s feelings.

One of the main aims of a growing personality is to meet the expectations of his or her parents. If you call your kid “evil” or “bad” he will start behaving according to this description. The fact is that it is our opinion which forms the character of the child. Of course, there are other important factors as well, but this one is the main. The kid views his parents like some unachievable gods and their idea of him makes him be the same as we think of him.

We often judge the others by their deeds, but if to speak about our children, there is an opposite situation – whom they will be and how they will behave depends on our opinion. That’s why the kid should learn from his mom and dad that he is good without any doubt. However, you should be always sincere, as the kids can sense even the slightest falsity.

As to certain bad deeds your kid performs, you can freely express your negative opinion about them and show your reproof. You just should not say anything bad about your kid as a personality or make him believe in it. Otherwise, you are likely to receive what you have “ordered” – a little person who believes in his “badness” and behaves according to your expectations of him.

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